The First Email

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The second of a superb set of online dating tips from best selling author Dr Joel Block Ph.D., relationship expert for CanDoBetter:-

The First Email

Creative e-mails definitely get more responses. You don’t have to go crazy, but there are definitely Dos and Don’ts when it comes to sending a prospect that all important first note. Here are some tricks to make the most of your cyber-communication skills:

1. Do choose a clever subject line. Aside from your Username, this is the first communication from you. Catchy titles sometimes determine if your e-mail gets read! It’s great if you can link it to something you read in their profile. Don’t try to be too cutesy though…there is a fine line.

2. Do mention what they wrote. Just a sentence or two about why you found them intriguing is usually enough. This shows you paid attention…and actually read the profile!

3. Do give compliments. You know you like to hear them—what makes you think others are any different? Here’s a tip. Everyone LOVES compliments. Notice his or her blue eyes, engaging smile, obvious sense of humor, whatever! Don’t be afraid to let him or her know that you found it appealing. Everyone likes to hear good things about themselves!

4. Don’t be too sarcastic. Remember that in e-mail communication, the other person doesn’t have the luxury of hearing your vocal inflection. Therefore you might be kidding about something, but it could be misconstrued. Better to save that kind of playfulness for later.

5. Do ask questions! This is a way to encourage a response from someone. Pretend you’re having a conversation in person. Say “What do you think about X, Y, Z” or “Have you ever been to…?” to keep the other person interested…and writing you back.

6. Don’t be too coy. Think you’re being mysterious or alluring? Chances are it just comes across as “I don’t like you” in an e-mail. Friendly and fun is a better tone to use than hard-to-get (literally and figuratively).

7. Do notice similarities. If you both have a shared interest, point it out! Say something like “I can’t believe you adore going to the Zoo on the weekend, so do I!” or “You mentioned loving classical music. Someday I should tell you about my extensive collection.” By bringing focus to what you have in common he or she will think “Hey, maybe we would have something to chat about?”

8. Do give a few details. If there is something you’d like to elaborate on that you weren’t comfortable putting in your profile (like your actual profession or where you grew up for example), this is the place to do it. Just don’t get too personal too soon.

9. Don’t write too much initially. This is meant to make dating easier. Save your time and energy, and don’t give away all your secrets in the first e-mail. You want to save tidbits for future conversations!

10. Do sound positive. No one likes whiners, complainers, or gossipers. You want to leave them with the feeling that getting to know you might be fun!

Part 1 – Staying Safe online

Part 2- Choosing a good profile picture

Part 3 – Write a Compelling Profile

Part 4- The First e-MAIL

Can Do Better – Dr Block’s site.

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