Online Dating Part 2

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Part 2 of of a Superb Guest Article by Nicole Flier, That was first Published in Atlantic Avenue Magazine

And so the story goes; boy meets girl meet in cyberspace. Boy sometimes deceives girl…AND SOMETIMES the girls puts the “D” in deceit!

Take “Mick” for example. He corresponds with a gal on line, sets up to meet for happy hour. He arrives 10 minutes early to have a drink prior to the date, as many of us commonly refer to as our “liquid courage”. He notices a group of six women at a table nearby and sure enough, his blind date was amongst the ”estrogen cluster”. After a closer look, Mick realized that his date was at mi fifty pounds heavier than her photos and had brought her posse as backup. Obviously annoyed that she misled him about her looks and brought her friends along for the ride, he finished his cocktail, took a lap around the premises and bails. He gets to the car, cell phone rings and gets blind date screaming tirade. She lashes out that he “embarrassed her” in front of her friends by “ditching her without at least saying hello”.  Prior to hanging up she closes with, “ You are a %*& shallow jerk!” Although Mick feels bad about leaving without communicating, the bottom line is that posting old photos prior to the “Freshman 15” or in this case “Post college 50”, whilst stating in your profile that you are slender” isn’t doing anyone, any good. And to bring back-up on a blind date screams “LAME”. Lesson ladies: Date means one on one and airbrushing or photo-shopping photos = NOT COOL!

Fast forward to George*(age 60+), first phone conversation with a (60+) woman from match.com:

Him: “Hello, how are you?

Her: “Hi, where do you live?

Him: “Delray Beach”.

Her: “East or West of 95?”

Him: “West of 95”

Her: (No response; first silence then DIAL TONE!)

Did she really judge him in the first minute of the conversation based on East or West of 95? Ladies, get a grip and stop being SHALLOW!

In closing, my classic tale may trump others and yes its “boy deceives girl”. Age 30, living in LA, I set up an online date. Make plans to meet at Starbucks at 7pm one night in the week. Promptly arrive at 6.55pm; date already seated drinking his coffee. Date doesn’t bother to stand up or offer to get me a cup of coffee, so I get my own. ALREADY IMP TOTALLY ANNOYED! 6:58pm; return to the table; take a good look at him. His profile stated he was 40. Date had bad hair transplant (the plugs looked like something in a Frankenstein movie) and was considerably wrinkled around the face which got me thinking- Is this guy really 40? 7:00pm; “ Senior” starts the banter with “there is something I need to tell you”… which never is a good start to any conversation. Date admits he lied about his age on the profile in order to fall into the younger age search and proceeds to tell me while pointing to himself (like the girls on “Price is Right” showing off the prize behind the doo£1), that someone who looks as “good” as he does, can attract and snag a “young, trophy piece”. He then blurts out that he was in fact late, late 50’s. 7:05pm; completes his diatribe, turns to the side and I noticed hearing aids in both ears. Now, I am not one to disrespect anyone with hearing impediments but clearly this guy was closer to Century Village than me and his photo must have been circa 1970. Completely blown away that this cheap, arrogant jerk didn’t offer to buy me a $2.50 cup of coffee, lied about everything in his profile, and posted ancient photos(in black and white); I, just like in the movies, got up with coffee in hand (that I paid for), said “thanks for being a complete liar” and dramatically pivoted on my Jimmy Choo’s to the door. 7:08pm; back in my car, call my mom to vent about yet, another bad online date. From the start to finish, less than a ten minute DECEIT AND DISASTER!

In the end, online dating can work if people are realistic and honest about whom they are, what they look like, and their expectations. There are tons of online success stories. So with all the shenanigans and chaos that comes with this online phenomenon, finding love does happen. Keeping the spark alive once it does, well that’s another story. Stay tuned!

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