We have been fortunate enough to bag an exclusive interview with the author of Alphadog, Get the Bitch You Want that is available at Amazon, Wing Girl Kim.
The book itself is an informative ( even if a little tongue- in- cheek) take on dating and relationships for men, and we cant wait to get reading and will post a review as soon as we have done.
In the meantime, we asked the Author to give her advice on some of the questions that are most frequently asked by our readers- and if the snippets that she has shared are anything to go by, the book should be a goldmine!.
Dating Advice by Wing Girl Kim of The alpha Dog Book
What effect can a bad dating profile have on your chances at love?
Let’s describe bad. In terms of the overall scheme of dating and how well a profile stands out, a bad profile would be one that says nothing about personality. It’s important to include descriptions that give hints about how you think. Looks are one thing, but how well would the person described in your profile hold up in conversation?
You want to have a profile that attracts people, but you don’t want one that attracts everyone. Think of it this way: if you were applying for a job and included a cover letter with your résumé, you would want to convey a certain message in it. You want to convince the employer why you’re qualified without being pompous, but you also want a job that suits you, so you don’t want to lie.
It’s not easy describing yourself when you can’t observe yourself. Unfortunately, people generally make poor estimates of themselves.
What are 3 things to make sure you DO add to your profile, and why?
1. Mention at least two or three things that are most important or interesting to you. A lot of things might be interesting, but you can’t attract everyone. What are you passionate about? Share it. It also helps to explain why a certain thing is interesting. For example, don’t just say, “I like fishing.” Say, “I like fishing on a quiet lake because it’s when I do my best thinking.”
2. If you are looking to get married, make sure to mention your most important values. If you are spiritual and being with someone else who is also spiritual is important, say it. Why hide it and why waste people’s time?
3. Use descriptive phrasing that helps people imagine. Remember, however, that certain words mean different things to different people. If you’re “easygoing” you might be the type of person who is willing to compromise or who is always game. But to some people, “easygoing” means being a pushover, over-sensitive, or boring. Try not to overgeneralize. Instead, paint pictures with your words.
What are 3 things to leave out, and why?
How about four things?
1. Lies. Not cool.
2. Past relationships. TMI.
3. Expectations. Chances are, you’re not going to get it.
4. The obvious, like, “I like to have fun.” Doesn’t everyone like to have fun?
Does humour work in a profile?
Everyone needs to laugh. Anyone who has a sense of humour should use it. It can say something about level of intelligence as well as how one handles day-to-day life. On the other hand, you don’t want that humour to be something you normally wouldn’t say. It should be natural. Lying through your profile about who you are as a person is disrespectful and a waste of other people’s time.
How does the site you are using effect your profile choices- and should it matter?
Different websites certainly cater to different types of people. It’s not unlike choosing a certain neighborhood to live in because of the types of people who populate it. It also can depend on how the site is advertised, if at all. If you find an advert in the Daily Star, expect to find on that site an array of people that resembles a crowd in a tube station. But if you want to get away from the popular crowd, there are other sites that may suit you better. BrainiacDating.com is frequented by intellectuals. TypeTango.com focuses on Jungian personality type theory, while OkCupid.com has a Myers-Briggs Type Indicator aspect on it. There are a plethora of other sites hosted by weeklies and online magazines which obviously attract readers of those publications.
Be smart about online dating
There are so many other factors in online dating. It’s just as important, for example, for readers of dating profiles to keep an open mind. Remember that some people simply are not very good at describing themselves. Then there’s writing that private message, which can make or break an opportunity. That is another article.
The important thing about online dating is how you approach it. It’s not easy to judge what a person is like with only words and a photo, just as it’s virtually impossible to read emotions though an email. Half of my book, a dating guide for men, talks about Jungian personality type theory. The idea is that we all have fundaments of thought that differ according to our genetics. These differences are what allow some people to get along famously and others to want to rip each other apart.
Our tendencies to think one way over another can actually be determined through a person’s dating profile, even if it’s poorly written. That, also, is an entirely other article, or a book. In the meantime, Dr. Alex Avila in his book, LoveTypes, teaches how to recognise different Jungian psychological types based on various factors, including occupation and movie interests. There is a way to find the right person for you through online dating. From the profile-writing perspective, it takes careful thought with words. Of course, it helps to have someone who knows you tell you what he or she sees, since we are are own worst judges.
Find out more about the tongue-in-cheek title: http://alphadogthebook.com
Follow Wing Girl Kim on Twitter @winggirlkim